people's opinion
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OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINION OF YOU DOES NOT HAVE TO BECOME YOUR REALITY. HERE’S HOW!
No matter how much we’d like to believe that we don’t care about what others think, it’s not entirely true.
Its a very normal and healthy thing to care about our relationships with people and how we’re viewed, but what becomes hurtful is for us to change who we are in order to please them, or to rely on what other people think of us, and making their opinion vital to our success and how we view ourselves.
Even though I spent my life thinking that I don’t care what others think of me, it was only when I left my hometown and my environment to a completely foreign country away from everyone I know that I believed it. Everything changed, the way I spoke, how I spent my days, how I saw things, and ultimately the way I started to think. I did not know who I was, or who I was becoming, all I knew that I was finally free from everyone’s opinions and judgements, but most importantly, free from my old version of self that was hiding because of it.
The way we feel, think, and hence be, are usually affected and influenced by those around us. No matter how much we’d like to believe otherwise. But here’s the thing, being aware of the effects that your environment has on you gives you more power and control over yourself.
The thoughts of others are going to affect us if we let them. There will be times when it will upset us, and that’s completely normal, in the end, we’re humans. But don’t waste more than a couple of minutes getting upset about others thoughts.
At the end of the day, remind yourself that:
- Other people’s opinion of you are based on their beliefs, experiences, and behaviors, NOT yours. People’s opinions about of you are NONE of your business, it’s just a reflection of themselves.
- Nobody knows you, and what you’ve been through in your life better than YOU! you know best. Nobody else is living your life. They might have opinions or ideas, but the only person who knows what is best for you, is YOU.
- Opinions are always changing. NEVER allow the opinions of others to get too deep, because people can change at any given moment. If you’ve overinvested in an earlier opinion, it can leave you in the lurch when the person changes their mind.
Denying the effects doesn’t make them any less real, it’s only when you become aware of the hows and whys; ask yourself, how is other people’s opinions affecting me? why am I letting it affect me this much? then you’re truly able to take your power back.
EXTRA
"Research supported by Danish National Research Foundation Niels Bohr: Humans use the reactions of others to help determine what is valuable: what to eat, what is dangerous, what is attractive, and for humans what to wear, what medicine to take, and for whom to vote - to give but a few examples. Each object, from food to parliamentary candidate, has a perceived value, which can be changed through social influence. Consequently, understanding how our values are changed by social influence is of considerable importance. We have shown that, when effective, the opinions of others alter a very basic mechanism of the human brain that reflects an immediate change in our values. Social influence at such a basic level may contribute to the rapid learning and spread of values throughout a population. These values could range from the quality of food to race and gender stereotypes."
